Tesla CyberLand theme park: Could it become a reality?

by Susan and Simon Veness

Tesla CyberLand theme park sounds far-fetched, but could the concept some day become a reality? LeaseFetcher car leasing comparison website says “Yes,” and they’ve created the blueprint to prove it.

tesla cyberLand theme park map

Tesla CyberLand hasn’t broken ground, or even found its way to a drawing board yet, but Ferrari Land, Volkswagon’s Autostadt, and Toyota’s Mega Web exist, so why couldn’t Tesla create its own theme park?

And if it did, LeaseFetcher, the“UK’s First Car Leasing Comparison Site,” speculates the blueprint they have laid out could make the park a mega hit with car-crazy theme park fanatics and Musk-mania zealots.

What does LeaseFetcher believe the park could include? In their humorous “ode to Elon and his ambitious ideas,” the company has proposed the following rides and attractions:

cybertruck dodgems

Roadside attractions and the amusement parks of yesteryear wouldn’t be without their bumper cars, and in this case the concept has found new meaning in Cybertruck Dodgems. Never mind the original cybertruck’s world-wide shame when their unbreakable windows shattered to bits under the powerful swing of Elon’s mighty sledgehammer. These bumper trucks are models the whole family can smash up together, no tools required.

Tesla CyberLand underground tunnel roller coaster

Thrill-seekers take note, because Underground Tunnel Roller Coaster is designed just for you! What starts as a traffic-dodging drive through an underground freight corridor quickly turns hair-raising as riders rocket out of the tunnel in a twisting, turning, adrenalin-fueled roller coaster ride above “America’s busiest streets.”

space x slingshot ride

Space X’s Falcon Heavy rocket helped put the first Tesla Roadster into orbit, along with a dummy driver affectionately known as “Starman.”  Now, visitors of all ages can endure the sensation of rapid lift-off onboard their own flying car, at the SpaceX Rocket Launch Slingshot Ride. Hold on to those tender tummies!

Tesla CyberLand hyperloop motion simulator

If the Rocket Launch Slingshot didn’t do you in, test your nerves and your intestinal fortitude while strapped into the Tesla Hyperloop Motion Simulator, mimicking Musk’s transportation pods of the future in hyper-realistic style.

flying cars swing ride

A real flying car in every garage? Yes, please! Until then, take a spin on the Flying Cars Swing Ride for a “drive in the sky” you won’t soon forget. Check those seatbelts before ascending, and keep hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the vehicle. Your Tesla Model X’s gull-wing doors will remain open!

Encourage excess fuel burn-off in your little space cadets at the Mars Playground, where toddlers are sized up for future recruitment as astronauts while playing fetch with pet rovers.

Parents too weary to supervise their offspring can plunk them into a kid-sized, tech-filled auto at Tesla Self-Driving School and enjoy a peaceful few laps of child-free “me time.”

Once back to reality, the whole family can worship at Tesla Amphitheater, designed as a temple to “Elonidis,” where the demi-god can revel in adoring fans’ adulation and reveal new concepts that will bring him further fame and fortune.

Naturally, a theme park needs food, and that’s where the Tesla Semi Food Truck comes in. A replica of the company’s semi-truck would serve everything from burgers to “space food,” plus the aptly named Elon Plate, featuring the Space X founder’s favorite foods: hot dogs, pasta, green peppers and orange drink.

End an out-of-this-world CyberLand day at the Tesla CyberLand Shop, shaped like a pop-up truck camper and filled with tee-shirts, balloons, and Musk face masks. It will not, however, be selling Elon’s Boring Company’s “Not a Flamethrower” propane-tank powered torch… because it’s a flamethrower.

For the full speculative fun, visit LeaseFetcher.co.uk/Tesla-Theme-Park, and be sure to tell us which attraction you would most like to ride, and what you would add to the blueprint, down in the comments!


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